My current progress in Ultima IV:
So I'm talking with the scoreboard sorcerer, and he says that my humility is good and I should head to the shrine. Hmm, I don't remember doing that many humiliating things. Maybe I get a humility bonus just for being a man of the sheep. It makes no difference, though, until I learn the humility mantra; without the mantra, I assume, the trip to the shrine will be wasted. Now where is that blasted Cricket boy who knows the mantra? I'm going to go all Fallout on him when I find him.
I leave the castle and camp outside the nearby moongate, waiting for it to open. Patiently, I watch the moons wax and wane, but the gate doesn't open before wandering beasts overwhelm and consume me. Leaving the castle again, I decide it's time for a different approach. While I'm thinking on what this approach might be, a flying cannonball opens my head and fills it with inspiration. A-ha! Soon, I'm commanding my own pirate ship.
After fighting off a treacherous sea beast and dodging intelligent tornadoes, I arrive in Paws. I buy a horse, but discover that I can't take it aboard my "frigate." So I ditch it and sail further south. Ah, here's Trinsic, the town of honor. I meet Virgil, a weirdo surrounded by a strange, shifting field. I believe he can teach me to cast poison field, but there's no point until I get someone in my party with magical ability. I leave him, passing through his field but apparently unaffected. From talking to the honor-obsessed citizens, I learn the mantra and that the rune is right by Virgil. I tiptoe up to him, snatch the rune, sneak back out the field . . . oh no, the jerk has poisoned me! "Is this honorable?" I cry out to the people in the streets as I clutch my spastic chest and die dramatically. I end up back at Lord Bootlick's, having lost my horse, my ship, and my dignity. Candide never suffered such misfortune.